If you think you are selfish, it is because you usually give a lot. You give to your children, you give to your husband, you give to your boss and at the end you are empty and there is nothing left to give. And yet you are afraid to set limits. You’re afraid to do what you love.
Is it selfish to seek happiness?
Instead of asking whether you are selfish change the question and ask yourself: “What example do I want to set for my children, my colleagues, my husband What kind of person I want to be?”. It comes down to who you want to be. If you keep giving at some point, other than there is nothing left to give, you will feel resentment towards the children, towards the partner, or the company. And in the end this is what you become. You become a resentful person. Everybody knows that especially the children never listen to what parents say, but they take example. Children take example from who you are, not from what you say. If you want your children to be happy, they have to have an example of a happy parent. Who do you want to be when you show up at work. Who do you want to be toward your partner?
Setting boundaries
You have to start setting limits. Setting limits is not selfishness. Even children are put some limits for their own good. If you don’t set limits, you will have the opposite effect. If you want to make someone else happy, you have to think about being happy yourself first. And you don’t have to do something special. Sometimes it’s really small things: a yoga class or a walk in the morning, When you can give from a situation of abundance, you are a better partner, a better parent or a better friend. You are simply a more authentic and better version of yourself. You have neglected yourself. You have disappointed yourself for some time. If you now disappoint others for a while nothing happens. To the question “Am I selfish If I want to be happy?” the answer is no. You are brave. I’m not saying to make others angry. But to set limits. If you set limits no one dies. Remember: if you do something for yourself, you don’t take anything away from others. In fact, you become a better person.
Exercise
How do you intend to set limits?
What do you want to do that will really make you happy?
And then, be sure to do it. Because knowledge without action is useless.
Watch the video in Italian with English subtitles.
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