Happiness Secret #4: Values
What are my values? Your values are a central part of who you are. By becoming more aware of your values in your life, you can use them as a guide to make the best choice in any situation. When you according to your values, life is usually good. The link between values and fulfilment is obvious.
Strange but true: most people don’t know their values. They think they know but they don’t.
Because we are so influenced and brainwashed by family, society, religion, mass media, that we start adopting their values thinking they are ours.
And we live our life pursuing those values until one day we realize that we are not fulfilled and we don’t understand why.
Furthermore, If I ask you “what do you value the most?”, you might answer: “love, family, money…”. Of these, love is the real value you are pursuing, the emotional state you desire. Family and money are only means. In other words, they are simply a way for you to reach the emotional state you really desire.
If i ask you: “what does family give you?” you might say: “love, security, happiness”. What you truly value is love, security and happiness.
Similarly, with money, I could ask you “what does money really mean to you? what does it give you?”. You might say “Freedom, security, power, or maybe recognition”. Again, you see, money is merely a means to achieving a much deeper set of emotions that you desire to experience.
Often, people are so busy pursuing means values that they don’t achieve their true desire: their ends values.
The ends value are those that will fulfill you, make your life rich and rewarding.
Love, freedom, intimacy, security, adventure, passion, comfort, fun, to name few.
If you set goals without knowing what you truly value in life, you may achieve your goals but you may miss out on your life. You may end up saying “is this all there is?”.
Have you ever fallen into this trap of pursuing the means as if they were the end you were after? In order to be truly happy, you must know the difference, and be sure to pursue the end itself.
Knowing your own values helps you to get more clarity on why you do what you do and how you can live more consistently.
Did you know that values guide our every decision and, therefore, our destiny?
Did you know that those who know their values and live by them become the leaders of our society?
If we want the deepest level of life fulfillment, we can achieve it in only 1 way: by knowing what our highest values are, and then committing to live by them every single day. Unfortunately, in today’s society, too often people have no clear idea of what is important to them.
If you and I are not clear about what is most important in our lives, we will lack the capacity to make effective decisions.
If you have ever found yourself in a situation where you had a tough time making a decision about something, the reason is that you weren’t clear about what you value most within that situation.
You must remember that all decision making comes down to values clarification.
When you know what’s most important to you, making a decision, even the most difficult one, is quite simple.
Take a moment and ask yourself: what’s most important to me? Go google “list of values” to have some inspiration. And then answer these questions:
1.What are the 5 values that are most important for you?
2.Why do you believe that this value is important?
3.Recall a moment in your life when you really lived this value.
4.How do you react if this value is not honored by others (feeling, thoughts and actions)
1.What is integrity for me?
Being honest with yourself is essential to feel good. What makes you feel whole? Be clear and honest and act according to it.
2.What is it to live in alignment with my values?
Once you realise what is truly important for you, imagine in your head how your life would look like if you live in alignment with your values and behave according to this image.
Go watch Happiness Secret #5